As long as I can remember, Hannah has done this cute but kind of, well, odd thing. It makes me smile and it makes me think. What is it? It's easy. First, get Hannah's attention. Then when she's paying attention to you, ask her "Hannah: what do you see?" Here's where it gets odd. When she hears that question, she'll look straight up, like she's looking at the light on the ceiling. What makes it even odder, however, is that she doesn't just do that indoors to look at the ceiling light. She also does that outdoors or where there is basically nothing to look up at. Every single time, for the almost-thirteen years of her life, Hannah has done that.
All of us have speculated what she is looking up at. Maybe she is used to the ceiling light being there, or she just likes looking up. A couple of us, my dad included, suggested that perhaps she is looking at something we can't see. After all, think about the question: "what do you see?" Maybe it means, "what do you see that nobody else can see?" That could mean anything. Well, frankly, for a long time, I was pretty doubtful about that. I mean, what could be up there that I can't see and Hannah can? Certainly not, say, an angel, right? Why would Hannah be able to see those? It doesn't make sense to me.
Or I should say, it didn't make sense to me.
Recently I was talking with my younger sister (not Hannah, the sister in-between us) about spiritual things, and she brought up her 'sixth sense' of demonic and sometimes angelic presence. This is something that has been with her for about two years now and she has rarely talked about it. However she has recently been more willing to bring it up and tell us about it, and I had the honor of hearing her story.
My sister describes it like knowing someone is around a corner or behind a closed door; you can "feel" that they are there, but you just can't see them. She also said that good moods make the demons back away as if they are annoyed or frustrated, and bad moods seem to attract them or make them swarm in. She even said she can sometimes feel a demon on my shoulder when I'm in a bad mood. I don't know what to make of that yet, but I was a bit shaken when she told me. It just goes to show that a negative spirit saps the life out of you - body, mind, and soul.
Anyway, that is not the point of this post. Of all the amazing things my sister shared with me, one thing stood out among the rest by far.
It was while I was asking her if she felt angels or demons around members of our family (that was where she told me that demons had been on my shoulders). I asked her about Hannah. "What about Hannah? Are there any demons around her? Is that why she cries sometimes?"
My sister's answer was profound. Here is what she told me, word for word.
"No, no, Hannah is so protected. Demons can never get close to her." I asked her what was the closest the demons had gotten to Hannah. "Two miles. They never get closer than two miles."
Two miles. And there were demons touching me. But she wasn't finished.
"And you know that whenever we ask her what she sees, she looks up? Well, she's looking up at an angel protecting her. An angel is up there watching over her."
An angel. That is who Hannah "sees". I have no idea what angels look like, but in Scripture angels had to say "don't be afraid" every time they approached a person. That's enough to assure me that angels look pretty darn frightening and there's a whole lot more to them than white wings and a halo. Demons have to be scary-looking too, though; testimonies of people who have actually seen demons said they were hideous beyond description (makes me think of shinigami as portrayed in the anime Death Note). But this angel is fearsome enough that demons can't get closer than two miles from Hannah. And this angel is strong enough to hold that big a radius of protection around her.
I may have been doubtful before, but I am not doubtful anymore. Now I know that, all that time, for all those years, Hannah was looking up at an angel. All those years, someone was watching over her. An angel was above her head and it's mere feet from me right this minute. And what's more, the demons don't dare get closer than two miles to her.
Now is that incredible or is that incredible?
Should I be frightened? Well, my perception of reality was certainly rattled a bit because of that conversation with my sister. I won't see a bad mood as just a "bad mood" ever again. And PMS is no cop-out. But I also feel blessed beyond description. Blessed that I am the older sister of a little girl that the demons don't dare touch. Blessed to know that even when Hannah was crying with pain or lying in a hospital bed, an angel was keeping close watch over her. God never forgot her. God never left her behind. There was always someone protecting her, even in those darkest and most confusing moments of her life. That is something that I will take with me for a very long time and I will hold it close to my heart.
Nope, any last doubt has left me completely.